With all the emotion surrounding LeBron James’ decision to sign with the Miami Heat, I thought it would be therapeutic for all of us to take a light-hearted look at what he would be thinking if he reconsidered and decided to stay with the Cleveland Cavaliers.
- Quicken Loans just turned me down for that new home loan in Miami.
- Going to work with Delonte West is a better option than my two best friends.
- Jim Gray keeps calling and texting me constantly.
- The sub-zero weather with rain, sleet, and snow in January and February is underrated.
- Going into the office everyday and seeing Dan Gilbert is much more enjoyable and inspiring than seeing Pat Riley.
- There are many more fun things to do in Cleveland.
- Lake Erie beaches are prettier than Miami’s.
- Miami has Jennifer Lopez but Cleveland has Betty White.
- Playing with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh would make me miss Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao.
- Paying no state tax is against my Democratic beliefs and makes me feel less American.
- Where did Mike Brown go? He was here just a second ago.
- Fans really do respect you more when you play for money rather than championships.
- Other free agents would rather come here to Cleveland than Miami.
- Championships are overrated.
- Well, at least I didn’t go to New York.
After reading this list, my heart breaks for LeBron. It must have been a tough decision to go with Miami. I bet he had many sleepless nights wrestling over this. Someone may need to talk him off the ledge.
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