If Your Marriage Is Failing…

Boyfriend Begging Forgiveness Stock Photography

Unfortunately, there are several people in my personal life who have recently divorced or are strongly considering the idea. This is a devastating epidemic in our country that leaves negative consequences affecting multiple generations.  What is always humbling is that even the most healthiest of marriages are only one wrong decision away from a lifetime of regret.

David Jeremiah recently said “The church has done an excellent job putting ambulances at the bottom of a cliff. What we have to start doing is putting barriers at the top of the cliff.”

I recently had an enlightening conversation on what you actually base a marriage on. Here is what I told the person you do NOT base a marriage on:

  1. Trust – Every healthy marriage has trust. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
  2. Love – Every healthy marriage has love. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
  3. Common Interests – Every healthy marriage has things in common. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
  4. Attraction – Every healthy marriage has attraction. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
  5. Companionship – Every healthy marriage has companionship. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
  6. Money – Every healthy marriage must have financial resources. You just can’t base the marriage on it.
  7. Kids – Children are obviously important.  You just can’t base the marriage on them.

Once he picked himself up off the floor we addressed the appropriate follow-up question.  So if you can’t base a marriage on Trust, Love, Common Interests, Attraction, Companionship, Money, or the Children, what do you base a marriage on?

A Healthy Marriage Is Based Upon A Person. A healthy marriage is based on Jesus Christ. Marriage was instituted by God and is a picture of the relationship He has with his bride, the church.

A Healthy Marriage Based Upon A Person has these benefits:

  1. A reliable foundation that does not change.
  2. A manual called the Bible that teaches you how a marriage works.
  3. A model of sacrificial love.
  4. A model of commitment.
  5. A healthy way to resolve conflict.  For more information on this topic, click here.
  6. A reliable counselor who brings reconciliation.
  7. A financial coach who helps you avoid the pressure of debt.
  8. A generous benefactor who gives you perfect gifts and meets all your needs.
  9. A friend who sticks closer than a brother.
  10. You understand the value of purity.

The most important leadership roles I have is that of husband and father.  The reason is because each day I set precedent and send my family forward to a time we cannot see.  Tell me your thoughts on what you think a marriage should be based on.

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About Brian Dodd on Leadership

I am a church stewardship and leadership consultant for INJOY Stewardship Solutions. This blog combines my personal passions of church, sports, pop culture and family into a single leadership resource. I trust your time on this site will create conversations and add value to your life.

8 Responses to “If Your Marriage Is Failing…”

  1. jakesledge RT @BrianKDodd: For a stronger marriage… http://wp.me/pVReH-oZ

  2. Came here by way of Scott Couchenour blog. He suggested that we read this. Excellent post! As a pastor, I see far too many marriages falling apart and much of it is because the marriage’s foundation was all messed up. Thanks for a good reminder for me to keep the #1 priority the #1 priority.

    • Bill,

      Thanks for the comments. I appreciate Scott very much. I checked your blog and absolutely love the creativity of it!!! I learned a lot by looking at it. Keep up the great job and feel free to comment on any of my posts.


  3. Amazing post, Brian. May I repost it on my blog (giving a link to here obviously)?

    • John,

      Thanks for the kind words. Believe it or not, everytime I post something on the family, you’re one of the filters I use. Definitely re-post it. I hope it helps your readers.

      Take care my friend,

  4. CisnerosChris Great post by @BrianKDodd: If Your Marriage Is Failing…: http://wp.me/pVReH-oZ


  1. If Your Marriage Is Failing… - 09/05/2010

    […] This is re-posted with permission of Brian Dodd on Leadership. […]

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