The 11 Greatest Fears Of Men In Their 40s

I am proud to be a man.  I’m not a chauvinist but I have learned to appreciate the unique wiring that men have.  I enjoy looking like a man, eating like a man, doing man-things, dressing like a man, and watching sports and action movies. 

And I refuse to wear skinny jeans.  If you’re a man wearing skinny jeans – Stop it.  Just stop it.  Take it from someone older, I’m doing you a favor.

I’m also totally against the feminization of our churches and culture as well as our attempt to create an androgynous society.  That approach is unfair to all, creates confusion in young people, and minimizes the unique wiring of women as well.

All that being said, the uniqueness of men also brings a unique set of issues and concerns.  As a soon to be 45-year-old, I have talked to other men for decades.  Here is my list of the 11 greatest fears that graying, balding, slightly over-weight, middle-aged men have

For the record, I have some of these but not all.  I’ll let you try to guess which ones.

  1. The Fear Of Failure – Do I have what it takes?
  2. The Fear Of Not Being Pleasing To God – Does God truly love and forgive me knowing the mistakes I’ve made?
  3. The Fear Of Being Known – If people truly, I mean truly, knew the real me, would they still love me? 
  4. The Fear Of Monday Morning – I know many men who truly despise their jobs.  Is it any wonder that the largest 6-hour block of time for heart attacks is Monday from 4 am to 10 am.
  5. The Fear Of Not Finishing – What if I die early?  What about my wife and kids?  I have so much more I want to do.
  6. The Fear Of Not Finishing Well – Am I going to die with complete integrity and no regrets?
  7. The Fear Of Infidelity – Do I have enough character and strength to not destroy the lives of those I love by being with another woman?
  8. The Fear Of Losing Their Family – Am I good enough that my wife would not leave me for another man?
  9. The Fear Of Children Not Turning Out Well – Am I a good father?
  10. The Fear Of Material Loss – Am I a good provider?
  11. The Fear Of Insignificance – Does my life matter?  Do I make a difference to anyone?  What if I leave this world and no one cared?

Ladies, some of these fears may be your husband’s.  If so, a man’s performance is directly tied to his wife’s confidence in him.  Cheer him on!!!!

Men, does anything on this list apply to you?  Are there other fears you have?  If so, comment as it would be a great encouragement to other men who may be struggling with the same thing.

Your 40s is a decade when you just have to flat-out persevere.  Hang in there men.  You’re not alone.  One day at a time.  You can make it.  Your family is counting on you.

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About Brian Dodd on Leadership

I am a church stewardship and leadership consultant for INJOY Stewardship Solutions. This blog combines my personal passions of church, sports, pop culture and family into a single leadership resource. I trust your time on this site will create conversations and add value to your life.

8 Responses to “The 11 Greatest Fears Of Men In Their 40s”

  1. HonestyHourBot RT @ceo_of_me @BrianKDodd Wonderfully written open and honest.- The 11 Greatest Fears Of Men In Their 40s #Character

  2. Brian, as a 47 year old, your post caught my attention immediately; and you nailed it. From our family life, to our career path, to simply leaving our mark, everything seems to culminate in our 40’s. If I can recommend a couple of books I’ve found tremendously helpful, I’d point towards Bob Buford’s ‘Game Plan’ and ‘Half Time’, which deals directly with the important questions you’ve raised.

    • Scott,

      Thank you for your kind words. I am familiar with you and your work for the WCA. I checked out your blog briefly and will begin following it regularly. Your correct, Bob’s books are an amazing resource. If this post will help your readers, feel free to re-post it.

      Keep up the great work. God is using you to impact the lives of thousands!

      Merry Christmas to you and your family,

  3. Brian,
    I appreciate your efforts here.
    That being said, when I see someone say “I’m not a chauvinist, but…” the “proceed with caution light” turns on. “But” is a word that tends to negate everything that was said previously.
    Your comment about being “totally against the feminization of our churches and culture” is loaded with chauvinism. The biggest problem with the religions of the world today (and all constructs of power – politics, business, education, etc.) is the belief that God is male, and that men, because of being male, are somehow closer to the source, and as a result, entitled to more power and control in the world than women.
    The world is woefully out of balance, simply because of this belief.
    It sounds to me like you may need to add one more fear to your list: The fear of embracing your feminine side.
    Have a terrific evening!

    • Bob,

      Thank you for the comments. I love the conversation. There is certainly room for many views on the content. What are your thoughts of the 11 fears? Have you ever experienced any of those?


      • Brian,
        Yes, these can be fabulous conversations.
        At one point or another, I’ve wrestled with all of these fears. Obviously, there are many, many other fears that men deal with as well. Another important fear, which relates to those you’ve listed, is the fear of success – to fully accept, embrace, and fully actualize our God-given gifts and talents. I’ve struggled with this fear for as long as I can remember – a journey that has been both terrifying and mind-boggling, as well as unbelievably amazing and fulfilling. As I’m sure you can appreciate, to fully embrace this potential means to no longer buy into the fear of the masses, and instead, live the dream. I’m glad to have accepted the challenge many years ago, and while I still can get wigged out every now and again, most of the time, I have wonderful freedom from most of these fears. The joy is in the living.
        I’m sure you know the drill:-)

    • I am a woman and whether we like it or not God is a God of order. I in no way was offended by the opening statement, “I’m also totally against the feminization of our churches and culture as well as our attempt to create an androgynous society. That approach is unfair to all, creates confusion in young people, and minimizes the unique wiring of women as well.” God is not the author of confusion. The bible clearly defines the roles and purposes as Men or Women. Men should in no way feel the need to try to be or think more like women and vice versa. Brian keep speaking and ministering the truth in love to all. May God bless you and keep you. Amen

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