Are You Lonely This Christmas?

Are you lonely this Christmas?  Some questions need no explanation do they.  Are you lonely this Christmas?

If you are, you’re not alone.  The Boston Globe reported that a 1990 Gallup study indicated 36% of Americans are lonely.  Kerby Anderson, President of Probe Ministries International, states “the baby boom generation is headed for a crisis of loneliness“.  To read his insightful article on the subject click here.

Loneliness hits me the hardest when I am traveling on business.  At the end of a day I return to my hotel room.  I look at that desk, bed, and full-length mirror on my closet.  My wife is not there.  My daughter is not there, and I feel lonely.  It is true that it is not good that man should be alone.

This past Sunday, my pastor Crawford Loritts of Fellowship Bible Church gave an incredible message on the subject of loneliness.  Here are the key points.  I hope they help you and bring you comfort during this Christmas season.

  • Loneliness happens even when much is going on.
  • Loneliness happens with people there.
  • “The most terrible poverty in the world is loneliness.” – Mother Teresa
  • The rise of technology brings increased isolation.

5 Areas Of Loneliness

  1. When you are alone and have no choice but to be alone.
  2. Lacking past attachments.
  3. Facing changes in your life.
  4. There is no one in your life with who to share feelings.
  5. Your self-perception is you are unacceptable.  Low self-esteem.

Loneliness is fundamentally an intimacy issue.  We are separated from God.  If we feel alienated from God, it’s because we are.  Notice these three words from Ephesians 2:12:

  1. Separated
  2. Alienated
  3. Strangers

How do we handle this?  Don’t settle for an unsatisfying substitute otherwise known as an idol.  Here is some information on idols in our lives:

  1. An idol is anything that is not true or permanent and cannot meet our aloneness needs.
  2. Idols are a poor replacement.
  3. Idols deceive us because they are artificial.  They won’t meet our needs.
  4. Idols are powerless.

So what are your idols?

  1. People – This flows from dysfunction and results in co-dependence.
  2. Passions – We self-medicate through sex, drugs, experiences, etc…
  3. Purchases

How then do you address loneliness and its twin idolatry?

  1. Don’t settle for idols.
  2. Surrender to the only true solution to loneliness – Jesus Christ.

The following is true about Jesus:

  1. He knows our need.
  2. He gives real, genuine life.
  3. He meets our need for real companionship.  Human beings have limitations.
  4. He provides real intimacy.

This is Christmas.  Jesus gives unlimited gifts but these four are especially for you if you are lonely.  Jesus gives:

  1. His permanent presence.  He’ll never leave you.
  2. Power of His presence.  He gives you strength to make it through the day.
  3. Over-flowing presence.  He gives us abundant life.
  4. Guiding presence.  He is the greatest leader ever.

If you are lonely, I so want you to have a wonderful fulfilling Christmas.  To have that, start at the beginning.  Spend time with that little baby in the manger.  He will give you more than any human being or purchase ever could. 

And if you’re looking for friends, comment here on this post.  I am praying that hundreds of people can find like-minded people sharing their stories and experiencing genuine community.  Technology doesn’t have to be isolating.  Merry Christmas.

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About Brian Dodd on Leadership

I am a church stewardship and leadership consultant for INJOY Stewardship Solutions. This blog combines my personal passions of church, sports, pop culture and family into a single leadership resource. I trust your time on this site will create conversations and add value to your life.

11 Responses to “Are You Lonely This Christmas?”

  1. After reading this post I am a bit confused. I was with you until ….loneliness has a twin..idolatry. If one is lonely then you only have idols? People who believe in God can still be lonely.They are not lonely spiritually, it is a human contact and sharing loneliness. Could you clear up this point? Thanks

    • Barb,

      Thank you for your question and I’ll be glad to answer. Many times when a person is lonely they will attempt to fill that void with a somthing (a substitute) that only God can fill. Subsequently, they place that substititute (be it a person, habit, hobby, work, activity, etc….) in a very high place in their life. The most obvious example is connecting with a “person who meets all my needs”. In essence, their loneliness drives them to unknowingly put an idol(s) in their life. As Christians have discovered, there are things in our life that only God and meet and satisfy. Loneliness is one of them.

      Barb, once again thanks for you question, reading this site, and commenting. I hope to hear from you often in the future.

      Brian

  2. amcbueno Another must-read from @BrianKDodd: Are You Lonely This #Christmas Afternoon: http://wp.me/pVReH-Ff. Great post!

  3. KDavis “@BrianKDodd: Are You Lonely This #Christmas: http://wp.me/pVReH-Ff if so please read! #Savior #God #Jesus”

  4. Dear Brian , this post really resonates with me.
    Way back, at the tender age of 22 a chunk of my heart was ripped from my body and soul when my husband of two years was killed instantly in a car accident. Left behind with a baby daughter, this was the most significant change defining moment of my life. I remember many instances where I was constantly invited out by many whose well meant intention was to cheer me up. During many of those times I asked God how could I feel so lonely and isolated amidst all the planned activities and people present. Many days I felt such despair and loneliness I thought I could physically die from the mental pain

    Long story short, thankfully and gratefully due to my immediate family, in-laws, the church and by extension the church family including numerous friends, it is indescribable to think how I could have mentally survived the loneliness and despair without such a support system.

    Cheers!

    • Thank you so much for your comments and I’m so glad you have started reading my site. I am deeply sorry about losing your husband. I can’t imagine. How is daughter and how is she growing up?

      Your words about finding comfort in God is comforting and inspiring. Please know I will be praying you and your family during the Christmas.

      Blessings,
      Brian

  5. mattmckee Meant to say this earlier but that is a great post.

  6. LamarHahn RT @ServingStrong: RT @BrianKDodd Are You Lonely This Christmas?: http://wp.me/pVReH-Ff must read 4 #pastors // ABSOLUTELY! Spot on

  7. ServingStrong RT @BrianKDodd Are You Lonely This Christmas?: http://wp.me/pVReH-Ff must read 4 #pastors // ABSOLUTELY!

  8. I lost my husband this past June very suddenly and there are times I struggle with loneliness. I have a house full of young adults and a teenager but miss his friendship. But I have found that Jesus is more than enough when I let Him be. At times I am tired and afraid or just am wanting a pity party and in those times I feel alone but as soon as I run to Him He is there waiting for me. Thank you for such a wonderful post. It spoke to me where I am.

    • Cyndi,

      Thank you for your kind words and wonderful comments. I am so sorry about your husband passing. Please know that I will be praying for you and your family throughout the holidays.

      Blessings,
      Brian Dodd

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