Men, Are You Giving Your Wives What They Need?

Men, do you feel you are an effective leader at home?  Are you aware of and meeting your wife’s needs?  Would your list of her needs match up with her’s?  Here’s the important question, how would your wife say you are doing in meeting those needs?  

Today I came across a post called The Seven Basic Needs Of A Woman by   They are:

  1. Her need for a spiritual leader.
  2. Her need for personal affirmation/appreciation.
  3. Her need for personal affection/romance.
  4. Her need for intimate conversation.
  5. Her need for honesty and openness.
  6. Her need for home support and stability.
  7. Her need for family commitment.

That’s a good list.  After being married for 20 years and having many conversations on the subject, here what I think my wife would say.  Her list would be a little longer.

  1. She needs me to provide biblically sound spiritual leadership in our home.  Leadership is fundamentally about direction and intent.
  2. She needs to know that outside of God, our family is my top priority.
  3. She needs me to think she is the most beautiful woman in the world though she would never say it.  That is easy to do because she is.
  4. She needs me to pay her focused attention.
  5. She needs me to listen to her.
  6. She needs me to have daily conversations that connect with her.
  7. She needs me to support her.
  8. She needs me to love her parents.  Once again, this is easy to do.
  9. She needs to trust me to not to look at things I should not be looking at and not having inappropriate conversations with the opposite sex.
  10. She needs to know that all my decisions (made primarily in partnership with her) are for her good and with her best interests in mind.
  11. She needs to know I will protect our home and family.
  12. She needs me to be romantic and a gentlemen, even after 20 years.
  13. She needs me to be humble and say “I’m sorry“.
  14. She needs me to be a faithful provider.
  15. She needs me to be a great parent and help her raise our daughter.
  16. She needs me to work with her and resolve conflict peacefully and quickly.
  17. She needs me to arrive home with enough energy to properly engage our family for the remainder of the evening.
  18. She needs me to eat what she cooks.
  19. She needs me to never embarrass her in public.
  20. She needs me to turn off the computer and TV.

Well, that’s my list.  Men, do you have anything to add?  Ladies, I know many of you are dying to give your opinions as well.  We’re listening. 

I’ll read your responses later.  I need to sign off my computer.

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About Brian Dodd on Leadership

I am a church stewardship and leadership consultant for INJOY Stewardship Solutions. This blog combines my personal passions of church, sports, pop culture and family into a single leadership resource. I trust your time on this site will create conversations and add value to your life.

3 Responses to “Men, Are You Giving Your Wives What They Need?”

  1. Brian,

    This is perhaps the very same list i’d write to my partner at some point…
    I especially and totally agree with the ‘focussed attention’… ‘family top priority’… and ‘love my parents’.

    May I also add i loved your post about Secretariat….


  2. Most men live lives of quiet desperation, and I am sure, almost positive, that the majority of us are not capable of giving “our wives what they need.” I sure don’t. But that doesn’t stop me from trying.

    You just suit up for every game and hope that you get a hit and get on base.



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