What Infidelity Does To A Woman

Earlier this week, we learned that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with his housekeeper forcing wife Maria Shriver to hire a divorce attorney.  Every time I hear of something like this happening whether in the entertainment industry, political arena, my family, or at church, something deeply bothers me on the inside.

It just makes me angry when the husband, the one entrusted to lead and protect, trades responsibility and legacy for selfishness and pleasure.  What a waste! 

What is worse than wasting your leadership though, is what your actions did to your wife.  Here is what some very famous women said after learning of their husband’s indiscretions:

  1. “This is a painful and heartbreaking time. As a mother, my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment.” —Maria Shriver
  2. “There were three of us in this marriage.” —Princess Diana
  3. “Yes, I have filed for divorce. I don’t know what else to say. I’m sad, and I am scared.” —Sandra Bullock
  4. “I thought I had the picket fence. I thought we were happy.” —Christy Brinkley
  5. “I felt stupid as more things were revealed — how could I not have known anything?  The word betrayal isn’t strong enough.  I felt like my whole world had fallen apart.  It seemed that my world as I thought it was had never existed.  I felt embarrassed for having been so deceived.  I felt betrayed by many people around me….It is hard to describe the emotional roller coaster I have been on, and it’s not over yet.  I pretty much followed — and am following — the stages of grief that I have learned in my psychology studies: shock, bargaining, anger, depression — and I am still working on the last stage, forgiveness and/or acceptance.” —Elin Woods

No wonder that Helen Rowland who lived in the first half of the 20th century said, “Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature — and another woman to help him forget them.”   

Painful, heartbreaking, sad, scared, stupid, betrayed, embarrassed, deceived, grief, shock, anger, and depression.  Guys, those were the words used by the five ladies mentioned above – powerful ladies.  I don’t care how you want to rationalize it.  This is what we are doing to the ones we pledged our life to!  Please tell me we’re better than that.

Know this, I’m no better than any other husband.  All men are just one bad decision away from destroying countless lives and the next several generations.  Lord, please lead me not into temptation.  Please protect me from that.

Men and women, I know you have strong feelings on this subject.  Please share them.

For related topics, check out my previous posts on Why Men Cheat and Why Women Cheat.

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About Brian Dodd on Leadership

I am a church stewardship and leadership consultant for INJOY Stewardship Solutions. This blog combines my personal passions of church, sports, pop culture and family into a single leadership resource. I trust your time on this site will create conversations and add value to your life.

7 Responses to “What Infidelity Does To A Woman”

  1. Well written Brian. I agree 100% with every perspective you have shared here. After reading the comments I am apparently pretty secure with my mangina as well.

  2. Its six of one and half a dozen of the other is it not ? It takes two to tango. Unless the man is into other men, children or animals, for every man having an affair there is a woman involved too, but usually only the wronged woman is portrayed in all her sadness and the ` other woman` is just briefly mentioned. What was this housekeeper thinking about Maria Shriver when she was bedding her husband ? I bet each time she hurriedly got into her uniform and left the bed she said ` I will be back` :>)

    • Exactly – I fully agree.

      I daresay there could be another female comment to follow and a comment acknowledging female responsibility but also accompanied by a strong type of “at the end of the day it’s the man’s fault” comment.

      Its time women stepped up to the plate and FULLY acknowledged EQUAL responsibility instead of crying and moaning about how bad men are.

      If women want monogamy – and it is in their interests to have this – then they should have a word with each other.

  3. My father has never cheated. he is a very devoted and faithful husband. Why is being faithful such a hard thing to do for majority of men? Do men know how devastatingly painful it is to be cheated on? they inflict a wound that will never heal.

  4. I shag anything over 18 that breathes – when Im on my deathbed I will look at my wife and tell her, as I do everyday of my life, “the reason I kept a smile on your face during our marriage is due to all that practise I’ve undertaken on your behalf”

    Thanks for your reply too.

  5. DO you have a Mangina?

    The vast majority of us cheat in one way or another – and that is MEN and WOMEN – if you disagree just look at your country’s divorce statistics.

    We were not born monogamous.

    And why the hell do we give a crap about Arnie and his willy – what has it got to do with you or anyone else?

    • First, I want to thank you for taking the time to read the post and comment. I do wish to disagree with you though. Not everybody cheats…and I hope me and my wife make it to the end or lives being faithful. I’ve said it in other posts – One of the main goals in my life is to be on my deathbed, look at my wife and tell her “I kept my word. I was faithful.” If that is having a mangina, then I guess I do have one.

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