This past February, I had the privilege of celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary. One of the things I’ve learned during that time is that the top need a woman has is security.
Something else I have come to realize is that one of the great things about our marriage is we still often pleasantly surprise each other. Earlier this week my wife surprised me with a compliment she has never given me before.
As we were taking care of some household responsibilities she said, “I want to thank you. You really take care of us.” I did a double-take because that was a new one. A couple of days later I asked what she meant by that statement.
I felt the answers she gave provided a good template for all of husbands who want their families to feel security, that they are being taken care of. Maybe we’re doing a good job but sometimes you just don’t know. We are men after all.
- “You are a hard worker.” – Husbands who take care of their families are not lazy.
- “You are a good provider.” – It is God who gives every good and perfect gift so I give Him the praise for this entire list, but especially this one. I used to be extremely frugal (stingy) and still can default in that direction. However, I have learned it is a privilege to provide for my family.
- “You are constantly looking for ways to bless us.” – Some of the best advice I ever received was to always try to out-serve your wife.
- “You always sacrifice your wants for our wants.” – There are few things that give me a sense of satisfaction like being generous.
- “You do your best to meet our needs.” – The best leaders are servant leaders. Like everyone, I have some good days and some bad ones.
- “I just like you.” – My wife is my best friend.
- “You never complain.” – She states, “You’ve given me looks before but you never complain.” I’m glad she doesn’t know that 85% of all communication is non-verbal.
- “You’re not a quitter.” – God allows bad things in our lives to teach us endurance. She told me, “You quit (not our marriage but something else in my life) one time before but God taught you endurance. You have wanted to quit many times since but you showed endurance and didn’t quit.”
She then points out, “I am a woman though. I could change my mind by 9:00 PM tonight.” Well, that is her prerogative but I hope she doesn’t change her mind on this list!
Husbands, we’re all hopefully doing the best we can and no marriage is perfect. But it made my day when she told me that. If you are doing everything you can to make your wife happy and it just doesn’t seem to be working, take my wife’s template and give it a try. Hopefully it will help result in a more fulfilling marriage for you.
Ladies, this is begging for a response from you. What makes you feel taken care of?
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